I have spent the last few weeks working on a specific part of my book. I am finding this particular part very difficult to complete.
My first novel was about Mary Tudor, as you know. My second book is a follow up of this, concentrating on her son. I enjoyed immensely writing a family story for Mary and giving her a happy family, she almost became a part of me. It felt good to give her some happiness that she did not have in real life.
But for my second book to flow through history as it should I must write Mary out of my story, I must write of her death. I did not imagine that this would prove to be as difficult as it has been.
I have found that it is hard to imagine the death of someone who has been a big part of my life for over a year now, while writing about her. It is almost like a feeling of true grief at losing her, which I have to admit, is a little disconcerting.
I turned to some other authors to discuss these feelings, and found that others feel the same when killing off a long time character. This did make me feel a little better about it, though it also shows just how involved an author can get when writing a book.
Before taking on my first novel, I had only written short stories, 2000 words or less, so I never got into the life of the characters to the same extent. My short stories were always enjoyed and acclaimed, but when I look back on them, there was not nearly as much emotion in them as in my book. In a way, this saddens me.
Not that I am saddened by the lack of emotion, but that it pleased my previous readers to lack that emotion. I hope my current readers enjoy my emotional style of writing much more.
So now I must return to my tome, return to 1553, and the death scene that is tearing at my heart just now. Wish me luck !